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Doctor patient jokes are based on the funny things between doctor and patient these jokes are meant for fun,So enjoy these jokes here.

Joke :Doctor patient joke

Patient: Doctor, You Must Help Me. 
I Keep Losing My Temper With People.
Doctor: Tell Me About Your Problem. 
Patient: I Just Did, You Stupid Bastard.  

Joke :Doctor patient joke

The New England Journal Of Medicine 
Reports That... !
"9 Out Of 10 Doctors Agree That 1 Out
Of 10 Doctors Is An Idiot..." 

Joke : Doctor patient joke

 
Doctor to a rich man: Do you prefer a 
local anesthesia?
Rich man: I would rather prefer an 
imported one. 

Joke :Doctor patient joke

    
Doctor: Have you ever fainted before?
Patient: Yes, the last time you told
me your fees.

Joke : Doctor patient joke

  
Patient: What is the cost of plastic 
surgery?
Doctor: It is near about 10,000$.
Patient: Well, what if we arrange the 
plastic?

Joke :Doctor patient joke


Man: "Doctor, Doctor! My wooden leg is
giving me a headache!"
Doctor: "Why?"
Man: "Because my wife keeps hitting me 
on the head with it." 

 

Joke :Doctor patient joke

Doctor:What happened to you ?
PATIENT:I am going to die in a minute.
DOCTOR:wait I am coming with in five minutes. 

Joke :Doctor patient joke

Doctor: Liquor is a slow poison for you.
Patient: Itís all-right. Iím not in a hurry. 

Joke :Doctor patient joke

Doctor:What happened to you ?
PATIENT:I am going to die in a minute.
DOCTOR:wait I am coming with in five minutes. 

Joke :Doctor patient joke

Doctor: I have some bad news and some
 very bad news.
Patient: Well, might as well give me 
the bad news first.
Doctor: The lab called with your test 
results. They said you have 24 hours 
to live.
Patient: 24 HOURS! That's terrible! 
WHAT could be WORSE? What's the very bad news?
Doctor: I've been trying to reach you
since yesterday. 

Joke :Doctor patient joke

Patient: I always see spots before my
eyes.
Doctor: Didn't the new glasses help?
Patient: Sure, now I see the spots 
much clearer.  

Joke :Doctor patient joke

A crazy patient went to the doctor and
asked, " If a toothless dog bites me
what treatment you would do?''
Doctor- " Nothing I would give you a
needleless injection"  

Joke :Doctor patient joke


A person goes to the doctor with his 
3 year son.
Person: - Doctor, my son has swallowed 
a key, so we came to you.
Doctor:- When did he swallowed a key.
Person:- 10 days back.
Doctor:- And you are coming to me now,
after 10 days.
Person:- We had a duplicate key, but
today it is lost.  

Joke :Doctor patient joke

Patient - Doctor, doctor, everyone 
keeps ignoring me.
Doctor - Next please!  
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